remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
you never un-have a 4some
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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