I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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