ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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