I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
