Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i out mim tonsoeep
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