Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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