U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This girl is more easily done than said...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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