This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize