dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
