I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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