it wasn't lemon gatorade
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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