if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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