all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
