i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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