Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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