I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
