yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
