so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
