well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
