Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
