well I can't set my house on fire every night
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
