We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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