Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
