hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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