i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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