Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
