I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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