:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
