i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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