bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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