WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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