So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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