i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You can't motorboat a personality
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
