Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
