I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize