I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
