Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
