This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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