Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
