walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize