He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
