Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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