Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
