I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
