I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
