I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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