i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
