I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
