Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
