cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize