I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Found the puke drawer
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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