I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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