I want to stick my p in your. b.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
