I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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