Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
someone threw a dead crab at me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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