Need sex. Gaining weight.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
