around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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