So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
