Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
