Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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