Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
