Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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